By: Mia L. Hazlett
Honestly, if I hear one more time in my life, “boys will be boys,” I will just scream. I will scare the crap out of whoever just said it. They won’t get it and I’ll look like a nut job. I’ve heard this saying my entire life, right up to the other day when I was at CVS. There was this little boy in the store with his stupid mother. Again, I don’t really believe in bad little kids, especially when I see them in the presence of stupid parents. He had his brother’s hood and was pulling him by it and in the process of his brother trying to keep his balance, he knocked over a display of candy. His dumbass mother was on her cell snapping her fingers at them and telling whomever she was talking to, “oh they are just being boys, but he just knocked over the stupid candy boxes.” She didn’t end her phone conversation, she just simply took her sons up to the register and paid for her items. Then left the store and mess, because her sons were “just being boys.”
Really what is wrong with people? I don’t have sons, so I don’t claim to know how to raise boys. But I do consider myself a common sense woman. I by no means think boys and girls are the same and assume there are different parenting techniques required when raising each. I will say my youngest and oldest are quite different. My oldest is a girlie girl who loves the Barbies. While my youngest likes her fingernails painted, she holds her own in their wrestling/karate matches. My oldest had two girls she was close with at daycare, while my youngest was the only girl among 3 boys who were only a couple of years older. They played rough and she was right in the mix. Do I think that’s the difference? I don’t know. I don’t have a son that I’ve also raised for the comparison. But if behind closed doors your boys wrestle more because their aggression level is higher, I get it. I must ask though, at what point does the “just being boys” go out the window and the “you’re a lazy parent who doesn’t want to discipline” become the reality?
I’ve seen this happen behind closed doors also (the lack of discipline), because “boys will be boys.” My shock to the defiant attitudes and misbehaving are attributed to me not understanding because I have girls. So I guess this post is more requesting opinions of parents who are raising sons. Because maybe I don’t get it. Maybe little boys should be swinging their brothers in circles and knocking displays down because they have more energy. But I would also appreciate any insight as to what happens when boys get to that dating age, especially if you are raising a son and daughter. I have to know because my daughters could very easily bring home one of the display wreckers one day and have stupid mom as their in-law.
Being raised in a house with two brothers, it was very different when it came to dating. My boyfriends never saw my bedroom and it was only when my parents were home that they were invited over along with a definite curfew. There was a leniency with my brothers. I remember girls staying over. I know the girls saw their bedrooms. Now I don’t know if this was permitted, I’m pretty sure it was done behind my parents’ backs, but nonetheless, I know there would have been different penalties. But I know of other households where it was allowed, for I dated those boys. Now I’m not just talking about in high school, but beyond into my first years at college. I would talk to the mother and then we would go upstairs to “talk.” I never thought it odd then, but I have daughters now. I’m doing my best to raise them to be responsible, but one day they will be the “talking” age. I know they will have to do all the sneaking around in the world with fear of death, before they “talk” in one of their bedrooms in my house. But there is no way I can be sure who they are going to “talk” with will have those same rules in place in their house.
I believe “talking” becomes a big deal when you deal with those that have been able to use the excuse “I’m just being a boy.” Because these boys just being boys have the potential to get my daughters pregnant. If they’ve been raised their entire lives by parents that have allowed them to use this excuse and a society where the word “pimp” is widely used among its youth and not so youth; are they less likely to stick around and face the unprotected “talk” consequence? It comes down to the age-old question: why when a boy has numerous “talking” partners, is he consider “social?” But when a girl goes around talking to everyone, she is considered a “gossip.” Because I have seen the grown men who were always given the pass “boys will be boys. One has half a dozen children by multiple women and another one can’t stay in a relationship because the women won’t put up with “that’s what men do,” as an excuse for his cheating.
I guess I am soliciting any comments from those raising boys. I believe they are different, but I don’t have boys so I can’t talk about raising them. I welcome any comments you may have on this subject and let me know if you’ve ever used the saying, “boys will be boys.”